the start of a new beginning where it all went wrong before my life started to change, I remember life was beginning to spiral out of control, the using became a necessity, to keep the war in my head at bay. I was in more trouble then I could ever imagine, I was surrounded by people but forever felt alone. I was a lost person without no cause in life, no spiritual principle, no wellbeing for myself, I was a mess! I remember I got arrested for an offence I didn’t commit and being put on remand, looking at spending a long time with what little freedom I had left being taken away from me. I remember sitting in that cell contemplating life, crying as to how my life had spiralled out of control, I was no longer someone I knew, I was completely lost. After being found not guilty my awakening happened. I realised that I needed to change. I remember thinking back to my darkest days, the attempts on my own life because I could no longer sit with who or what I had become, the images still fresh in my mind, that feeling of despair as I let my life go for the bag. It was then that my pal Tom said to me I’ve been waiting for you to tell me you’ve had enough and showed me some information on rehab. At first I tried a Christian rehab with no luck at finding my way due to being too broken and there being no guidance from them as to where I should start to find myself, but then I found changes uk. This is when I say my journey started. On the 5th of November I walked through them doors a mess, mentally, spiritually and physically broken. I never knew what to expect walking through them doors, but over time through perseverance and not listening to the demons in my head something of a miracle happened, I began to see some form of hope! A light at the end of the tunnel. Through all the darkness that was in my life beforehand I could finally see myself in the mirror, I could see that other people around me were enjoying life on life’s terms and I wanted some of that! It was graft don’t get me wrong, the easy option would have been to walk out them doors and use, but I clung on the chair and stuck it out. I’m now 5 months clean, the cleanest I’ve ever been in my life and that’s a big thing as id been using for 14 years nonstop. I have people around me who generally care for my well being, I have my family back in my life, I have a foundation that can support me in my life and most importantly, I’m starting to find out who the real me is the me without any substances, and being quite frank I’m enjoying this journey more then I could ever of imagined. It’s giving me purpose and belief in myself that I can do things no matter how hard life gets, I can conquer whatever it throws at me. So for those still out there struggling I say to you, its not the end. There is another life after addiction and it’s a thousand times better then using, you just have to want this change, keep the fire burning inside of you and push through the pain, you deserve to find yourself and a new way of living!
Just for today I will remain clean and sober, and continue to enjoy life!